Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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