You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
