I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
