Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died

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(860): Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died http://tfl.nu/dll1

Replies (13) Good night (653) Bad night (2733)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

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(781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed http://tfl.nu/sznd

Replies (127) Good night (128767) Bad night (3244)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.

(339): View more from Massachusetts

No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.

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(508): Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor. (339): No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though. http://tfl.nu/0uyr

Replies (34) Good night (9758) Bad night (1420)
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(912): View more from Georgia

you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.

(919): View more from North Carolina

That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.

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(912): you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet. (919): That explains the puddle of pee in my closet. http://tfl.nu/tfvg

Replies (7) Good night (1178) Bad night (5273)
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(949): View more from California

Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

(1-949): View more from California

are you seriously doing this over text message

(949): View more from California

hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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(949): Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me? (1-949): are you seriously doing this over text message (949): hahaha no, but i am dumping you. http://tfl.nu/2zd7

Replies (355) Good night (8078) Bad night (48886)
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(802): View more from Vermont

every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.

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(802): every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin. http://tfl.nu/un5l

Replies (18) Good night (8098) Bad night (1111)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.

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(732): This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together. http://tfl.nu/028o

Replies (4) Good night (1150) Bad night (3841)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.

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(612): Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me. http://tfl.nu/0mf7

Replies (6) Good night (1622) Bad night (788)
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(309): View more from Illinois

cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.

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(309): cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better. http://tfl.nu/6a1r

Replies (2) Good night (1161) Bad night (848)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY

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(304): Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY http://tfl.nu/auio

Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (443)
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(917): View more from New York City

I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball

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(917): I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball http://tfl.nu/axxp

Replies (24) Good night (608) Bad night (2809)
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(315): View more from New York

I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd

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(315): I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd http://tfl.nu/os0g

Replies (8) Good night (1452) Bad night (556)
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(940): View more from Texas

Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?

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(940): Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow? http://tfl.nu/gsnf

Replies (8) Good night (1311) Bad night (393)
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(314): View more from Missouri

That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.

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(314): That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu. http://tfl.nu/ssef

Replies (7) Good night (710) Bad night (454)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.

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(604): Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy. http://tfl.nu/syw5

Replies (4) Good night (501) Bad night (314)

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