Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.

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  (619): I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe. http://tfl.nu/jto0
  Replies (24) Good night (4437) Bad night (773)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?

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  (732): I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!? http://tfl.nu/ocr3
  Replies (69) Good night (1966) Bad night (10048)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic

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  (561): you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic http://tfl.nu/jttf
  Replies (44) Good night (8727) Bad night (1157)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.

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  (215): He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down. http://tfl.nu/lp4z
  Replies (23) Good night (1851) Bad night (5145)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that

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  (336): If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that http://tfl.nu/zg2p
  Replies (4) Good night (3743) Bad night (1110)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.

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  (903): I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times. http://tfl.nu/nwwj
  Replies (19) Good night (7540) Bad night (1010)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?

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  (+49): In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life? http://tfl.nu/2p4e
  Replies (2) Good night (1443) Bad night (1565)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...

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  (608): There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position... http://tfl.nu/q8gr
  Replies (3) Good night (2139) Bad night (744)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.

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  (218): It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited. http://tfl.nu/4qpj
  Replies (17) Good night (2333) Bad night (695)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  They want yo temporarily sterile ass.

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  (207): Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong. (1-207): They want yo temporarily sterile ass. http://tfl.nu/285n
  Replies (9) Good night (1575) Bad night (563)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.

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  (614): If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night. http://tfl.nu/mvnj
  Replies (2) Good night (934) Bad night (392)
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  (818): View more from California

  You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.

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  (818): You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on. http://tfl.nu/jsq7
  Replies (2) Good night (868) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs

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  (585): seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs http://tfl.nu/iszo
  Replies (5) Good night (645) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.

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  (250): We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night. http://tfl.nu/t0jj
  Replies (0) Good night (805) Bad night (348)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.

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  (843): After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT. http://tfl.nu/qpcc
  Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (297)

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