What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...