we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
