He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
