we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
