Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
