Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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