I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
