it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
