Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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