I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
