They should really pass out barf bags in church
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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