I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize