I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
