I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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