You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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