I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I got inside last night via doggy door
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