pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
