I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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