my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
