Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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