Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
