Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
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talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
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We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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