My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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