im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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