This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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