I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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