We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
is wine microwaveable?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
