i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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