The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
whose parrot is this?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
