i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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