It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
