i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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