How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
you had me at cake vodka
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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