And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Also, beer. Big fan.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
