I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
