I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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