So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That was an excessively violent trivia night
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
