I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize