So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
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Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
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Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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