i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
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