I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
handjob tips. give me some.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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