I look better un-naked...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
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My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
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Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize