i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
