I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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