Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
