I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
