I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
