i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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