Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
