I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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