Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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