Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
