Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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