i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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