Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
