he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Sober January is a disaster.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
