redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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