took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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