ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
