there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
